In the year 2007
The comic editors at DC
Wanted to fill a missing year
And prepare for a Final Crisis you see
They made a team of writers
Who made things good and bad
To write this big event
Yet no power these writers had
For the editors held the power
The editors called the shots
They wanted it their way
They had what the writers did not
But soon it went all wrong
As from this chaos emerged
A disaster like no other
Worthy of a song
“Make this plot a jumbled mess!”
“Pay no attention to the details”
“Base the story on a game of chess!”
A recipe sure to fail
“Have this sweet girl turn evil!”
“Ruin her and an enemy!”
“Send a clown and a cat to a training academy,
For fan service you see!”
“Send a boy and a girl on a pointless quest!”
“So shall a reporter and a bug!”
“Along with a piper and a trickster on the run”
This is sadly not a jest
“And have a group of men and women”
“Led by a being named Bob”
“To go from universe to universe”
“Looking for an Atom, that’s their job”
“All this and more be scattered across tie-ins,
As a cheap marketing ploy.”
“While having billions die and universes destroyed,
“At the hands of a whiny adult who thinks he’s a boy”
“He will whine about his life,
And torture a fifth dimensional imp”
“All so he can kill some more,
“And perform more moronic stints”
The writers and editors looked at this abomination
They all helped to make
So get ready boys and get ready girls,
It’s Countdown to Final Crisis, there’s no escape!
51 issues of pain, over a year
All there for you and me
To suffer for what we actually see
To forget this will take a lot of beer.
