Friday, July 24, 2009

An Ode to Countdown

In light of Linkara finishing his Countdown review month, I decided to show off the poem I made on the series:

In the year 2007

The comic editors at DC

Wanted to fill a missing year

And prepare for a Final Crisis you see

They made a team of writers

Who made things good and bad

To write this big event

Yet no power these writers had

For the editors held the power

The editors called the shots

They wanted it their way

They had what the writers did not

But soon it went all wrong

As from this chaos emerged

A disaster like no other

Worthy of a song

“Make this plot a jumbled mess!”

“Pay no attention to the details”

“Base the story on a game of chess!”

A recipe sure to fail

“Have this sweet girl turn evil!”

“Ruin her and an enemy!”
“Send a clown and a cat to a training academy,

For fan service you see!”

“Send a boy and a girl on a pointless quest!”

“So shall a reporter and a bug!”

“Along with a piper and a trickster on the run”

This is sadly not a jest

“And have a group of men and women”

“Led by a being named Bob”

“To go from universe to universe”

“Looking for an Atom, that’s their job”

“All this and more be scattered across tie-ins,

As a cheap marketing ploy.”

“While having billions die and universes destroyed,

“At the hands of a whiny adult who thinks he’s a boy”

“He will whine about his life,

And torture a fifth dimensional imp”

“All so he can kill some more,

“And perform more moronic stints”

The writers and editors looked at this abomination

They all helped to make

So get ready boys and get ready girls,

It’s Countdown to Final Crisis, there’s no escape!

51 issues of pain, over a year

All there for you and me

To suffer for what we actually see

To forget this will take a lot of beer.

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